Mont Blanc Legend Cologne

I received this “sample” and was able to rub it on my neck. It lasted about 5 minutes and not one person jumped me or even expressed their like of the scent. I’m guessing it wasn’t enough. Maybe if you want someone to review your product, you send them more than a tiny tissue sample. Just my opinion.

pre-moistened towelette

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The miraculous vitamins…

Ok, I tried your vitamins and all I have to say is, do you really expect an actual review for a days worth of vitamins?  I suppose I could go to my doctor and have a blood test done to see if this did anything different to my levels, but I don’t have the time. If you want a real review, send me a 30 day supply, this did absolutely nothing for me. I did run a marathon the next day, but I’m sure it has nothing to do with this free vitamin sample.dfgsfdg

Shilo and the Blue Marker

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I was one of the lucky few to receive a blueberry scented Mr. Sketch marker. I only got the one color, so I am really limited as to what I can draw and color. Too bad that unlike Harold and his Purple Crayon, my drawings do not come alive.

I tested the smell, and yes it does smell a lot like some kind of fruit. I drew a picture on paper, napkins, the Burger King restroom wall, and on an unmarked police car. (Well it’s marked now)

This is truly a wonderful marker, and as soon as I get out of jail, I will buy a whole pack of the scented Mr. Sketch markers. I have included the product, and again my mug shot. While it does not taste like a blueberry, it smells GREAT!!!!

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Million Dollar Idea!

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There are those Facebookers that everyone seems to love to hate. I’m talking about the ones that have to post every little thing they do daily, and often accompany the post with a picture.

Here’s where the million dollars comes in. Imagine that if you paid a small fee to actually verify those facts. For Example:

Sally “Just got out of the gym ‘woah’ HUGH workout, but I can see the changes already”

My Program: “Sally actually just spent 15 minutes in the sauna at her gym and did not even shower afterwards.”

S: Obligatory picture of her in her yoga pants.

MP: Those pants stayed on her for 5 minutes before she changed into sweatpants.

S: “Just had a healthy lunch, GO ME! Ordered a small salad (no dressing) and 2 Dasani waters.”

MP: “Sally just pulled into the McDonalds drive through and ordered, a Double Quarter Pounder w/Cheese meal with a coke, and a medium chocolate milk shake.”

S: Picture of a healthy salad sitting on a table.

MP: Grainy McDonalds CCTV photo showing Sally scarfing her lunch in her car.

S: “Gonna make dinner for my sweetie tonight, then some cuddling with a movie and a nice glass of $50 wine.”

MP: “Sally is making mac and cheese for one, while watching Revenge and drinking half a box of Franzia red wine.”

Now, I understand that some of you may think that my program would be invading peoples private lives, but you would be wrong. They gave up that privacy when they wanted to tell you every detail, they are letting you into their lives. We will just be giving the accurate facts. This will be successful because, that person will have learned a lesson in not boring everyone with how great they wish their life really was, and we can be entertained for a while.

As soon as the person stops doing the annoying posts and pictures, my program would cease to exist for them. They would have no worries. Their lives would go back to normal with no one but the government watching them.

I wish I knew how to use Kickstarter

 dgfsd

Olay Regenerist

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This tiny little packet given to me to review seemed absolutely ridiculous. Then I read the small print that said “visible WRINKLE results start day 1” I don’t have many wrinkles, just a laugh/frown line. I took a before picture and an after of course. I squeezed the heck out of this packet and received a tiny dollop of the moisturizer. The only instructions were to  avoid eye contact. (I don’t know if this packet thinks it’s higher on the social ladder than me, but I follow rules, although I did kind of snicker at it lying in the trash all empty inside.) I waited and waited…16 hours later I was tired and I still did not notice any visible WRINKLE results. But boy, did I when I woke up. There should be a warning on this thing! You can age yourself instead of looking younger. If I had to push this to a certain kind of customer I suppose it would be underage kids trying to buy beer or a 30 something wanting to get a senior citizen discount. The only thanks I can give this company, is thank you for only sending me a tiny packet. I can’t imagine what would have happened had I used a whole squirt of the stuff.

Ok, to be honest, they did not lie. The visible WRINKLE results did start on day 1. I just hope they stop at day 1.

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Depends Adult Diapers

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To say I was shocked to receive two pairs of Adult Diapers while still in my 30’s is an understatement. I at first thought that I would give them to some senior citizen I passed by on the street, but I decided no, I am the reviewer so I have to do this myself. I chose a day that I was shopping at Walmart (what better place?). I put one of these bad boys on and immediately felt reminiscent of my toddler hood. I was worried that they would look bulky in my skinny jeans, but I thought that you really couldn’t tell. I went to the local Taco Bell and ate up almost the whole menu, knowing this would come in handy for an honest review.

As I wandered the aisles of the local Walmart, I started to feel my stomach rumble, I instinctively looked for a restroom. Then I remembered that today I was free to go in my pants. I was browsing the toy section to see if they had the My Little Pony Pinkie Pie Figure to replace the one I had “accidentally” broken. I fought the urge to go, it just isn’t natural as a toilet trained adult, but I had no choice. I now know why babies scrunch their face and smile as they fill their diapers. Unfortunately the smell was wafting and there was no baby around for me to blame.

Now came the biggest part of my review. How easy would it be to change and clean an adult person with a full diaper. I looked around desperately for help but I could catch no ones attention. I remembered then how babies do it when no one is around, so I fell to the ground crying and screaming. Several people came to my aid and when I told them my need they simply walked off. Some were even obvious mothers!

Now, it may have been because I was wearing skinny jeans, but it was a damn battle to get this diaper off. I was forced by the police to do it myself, right there in the booking area. While the diaper is sufficiently absorbent and kept everything where it was suppose to go, it is not an endeavor I will try again for any amount of money in the next 50 years.

I have saved you the indignity of having to see the pictures of this event, instead I will post my mug shot.

dfgfgf

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Good Samples

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I don’t always get awful samples, just this week I got some great items. The first being a bottle each of Lawry’s Garlic Salt and Seasoned Salt. They also sent me a taco seasoning and their new oven baked seasoning. I will definitely be using the two bottles of salt, but I will give the rest to someone else, because that sounds like too much cooking for me when it says add chicken or beef.

The second item I got was a BBQ set from PAM. It’s very nice, I think it’s cool, unfortunately I don’t have a grill, so I will probaby gift it to someone for Christmas.

fdgd

Head & Shoulders Full & Thick

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I received two samples of Head & Shoulders Full & Thick advanced thickening tonic. They send me the tonic and the shampoo. I don’t know how anyone can give a review besides that it smells good. As you can see, it was going to get me through a hair washing, and that’s where it ends…one washing. I thought there was no way I could tell you if the tonic worked or not, but praise Procter & Gamble! I woke up with a full head of hair as thick as a lions mane! If I could give 100 thumbs up, I would!”

dfhd

RePhresh

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Thank you for allowing me to sample your RepHresh product.I really appreciate that it was mailed to me open for anyone and their husband to see. Also, your assumption that just because I am female, I would have a use for this, was spot on! I did try it and it seems the Healthy pH you advertise really does work! My only complaint is, that the box says it lasts 3 days, but my customers started complaining after only 3 hours. I think you need to correct that typo.dfhd